In a small room somewhere in Africa, Omar SpamMeister, is instructing his recruits:
Welcome brothers! We're doing real well. We've received over $15,000 this week. Keep up the good work.
First, though, I want to give some tips to our newer recruits.
Muktar, first choose a name from that list over there. American-sounding, not too ethnic.Choose a title, International Associate has been quite successful. Make up a company name. I have a list posted. Obed has been using "Zippy Pics, Incorporate", so that one's taken.
After you've done that, you have to give your target something. Praise their work, then ask for the price. Don't ask for their address yet, you have to be more subtle. The price thing comes after the second email. The first one just says you want their fantastic artwork for your new apartment in London. Get some credibility. Say you're CEO of the Acme Company, or maybe Marketing Director.
Now, Ahmed, how many calls have you made tonight? Four? Your quota is 10 calls, I would like to remind you. You don't get paid if you don't meet your quota. Also, you need to get more detail in your second email. Tell them you're going on a business trip to say, France. You're starting up an international branch. You're going to Africa after that, never mind that you're already in Africa. Don't mention China, by the way, that isn't our schtick! We have an agreement with the Chinese to stay out of their territory.
Muktar, I see you've received a reply already. Good job! More praise in the next email, and you'll be sending a check- and it's going to be for $5000 no matter what the artwork is worth, but don't tell them that.
We want to get at least $4000 refunded from them on that one.
Brothers, we're doing really well on this Minnesota Artists list. Good! They're really hungry for it! Remember, a state where they elected Jesse Ventura and Michele Bachmann is really ripe for the taking! Good night and happy emailing!
